I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize