on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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