I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
