I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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