You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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