He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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