plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
