So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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