Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
