If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
