What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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