I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
