Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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