so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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