I have demons in me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
