I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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