wrigley field is MILF paradise
i think my tv is drunk
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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