It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.