I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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