oh god the rape fog is back!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize