i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
