If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
