My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
