from now on my penis is your penis
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
