barbara walters just said penis...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
