Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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