Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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