Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize