You just made me feel so damn special
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
