it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
