i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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