I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
