Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
