Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
