I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
