I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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