we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
