She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
