M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
