I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
