I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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