I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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