So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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