I think i peed on brittanys purse
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
