carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
