I think I am morally bankrupt
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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