i always forget guys have bellybuttons
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
