Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
