i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
