I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
