Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
