i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
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George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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