I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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