New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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