So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
