No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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