Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I licked your asshole in confidence.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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