Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sext me about skeletons
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize