bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
