I accidentally had phone sex last night
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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