why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
