Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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