The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
