im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
