Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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